Do Women Actually Like Nice Guys? - Dr Robert Glover

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Nice Guy Syndrome

Nice guys inaccurately internalize the belief that they are not okay just as they are, leading them to try to become what they think everyone else wants them to be.
Nice guys tend to be unauthentic, dishonest, untrustworthy, frustrated, resentful, and passive-aggressive.
The prototypical nice guy is someone who tries to make everyone happy, avoids conflict, and goes along to get along.
Nice guys often attribute their niceness to their upbringing, either by fathers who were emotionally unavailable or by fathers who were nice guys themselves.
Nice guys are often resentful and angry because they don't get back what they think they deserve.
Nice guys may feel emasculated because they don't express anger or aggression.
Shame and anxiety are core foundations of nice guy syndrome.
Nice guys and jerks are both on the same continuum of fight, flight, or freeze mode of managing their internal states of anxiety.
Safety and reassurance are at the core of the "nice guy" behavior, stemming from a deep-seated fear of abandonment.
"Nice guys" may have perfectionistic expectations of themselves, leading to constant anxiety.
Fear of success is a common anxiety among "nice guys," as they worry about the consequences of achieving their full potential.
"Nice guys" often engage in self-sabotage, preventing themselves from reaching their full potential.
Dishonesty, manipulation, and a lack of healthy boundaries are common traits among "nice guys," particularly in relationships.
The "nice guy" behavior can manifest differently in different areas of life, with some individuals exhibiting it primarily in relationships while others display it more in professional settings.
Individual differences in temperament and life experiences can influence the specific ways in which "nice guy" tendencies manifest.
"Nice guys" often hide things about themselves, particularly those that might cause negative reactions from others.
Nice guys often hide their needs and wants because they believe that expressing them will draw negative attention and reactions from others.
This behavior stems from early childhood experiences where they may have been neglected or punished for expressing their needs.
As a result, they develop coping mechanisms such as overeating, compulsive social media use, or substance abuse to manage their discomfort.
Nice guys often have difficulty receiving help from others because they believe that it makes them vulnerable and indebted to others.
This behavior robs others of the enjoyment of helping them and can hinder the development of healthy relationships.

Attraction and Relationships

The feminine is attracted to men who are centered, differentiated, and on purpose, not those who seek feminine approval.
Seeking feminine approval is a trap that leads to a never-ending cycle of validation-seeking.
Self-validation and living life on one's own terms make men more attractive to the feminine.
Nice guys often misunderstand female attraction because they rely on outdated advice, such as being a gentleman and opening doors for women.
Attraction involves polarity, which includes dominance and submission. Without polarity, there is no attraction.
Polarity can be flipped back and forth in conscious relationships, and it is not always the man who has to be dominant.
Women often feel burdened when men are too compliant and leave all decisions up to them.
Emotional tension plays a role in female attraction and attachment, while men generally dislike emotional tension in relationships.
Men and women experience emotional tension differently.
Women need emotional tension to feel something and to want to engage.
Men tend to relieve women's tension by listening to them talk about their problems, which can actually work against them.
Playfulness is a key element in successful relationships and can help relieve tension and seriousness.
When listening to your partner, give them your undivided attention for a set amount of time, such as five minutes, to show that you value their thoughts and feelings.
Use playful banter and humor to connect with your partner and create a light-hearted atmosphere.
Avoid being too rigid or serious in your interactions, and allow for movement and spontaneity.
Don't be afraid to show your silly side and let your hair down with your partner.
Practice self-awareness and avoid the need for constant validation or always having the right answers.
Encourage playfulness in conversations by making jokes, referencing past events, or taking the conversation in unexpected directions.
Trust your instincts and act on impulses, as this allows your authentic self to come out and can lead to positive experiences.

Societal and Cultural Influences

There are more fighter pilots in the US Air Force than male kindergarten teachers.
Historically, boys were initiated into manhood by men, but today there is no such initiation to teach them how to face their fears and quit seeking the approval of women.
Pursuing women and trying to please them doesn't make them interested in you.