How To Focus On What Matters Most - Greg McKeown

The Paradox of Success (0s)

• The concept of the Paradox of Success is discussed, where success leads to clarity, which in turn leads to more options and opportunities, but also more problems, especially if one pursues more without discipline (26s).
• The more success someone experiences, the more they need essentialism to figure out how to be successful at success and not have it consume them (44s).
• The antidote to this problem is the disciplined pursuit of less but better, which is essential for achieving success without being overwhelmed by it (1m8s).
• Talking about success on the internet is not popular, as people prefer to focus on grinding from the ground floor up, but for those who aim to achieve success, it's essential to future-proof themselves (1m19s).
• The problems don't stop at any level of success; they become more complex, and the impact of choices increases, affecting more people and attracting more critics (2m1s).
• The reward for reaching the top of one mountain is that there are other mountains to climb, and this is a great part of life, but it doesn't make it easier (2m39s).
• People often assume that reaching the top of the mountain means all problems disappear, but this is not true; nobody escapes the mortal experience (3m3s).
• As people get higher in their level of success, it can become more lonely, with fewer people to appreciate the new set of challenges (3m22s).
• It takes courage to take responsibility for one's life and be courageous, which means being familiar with discomfort and taking new risks to continue making progress (3m33s).
• The alternative to living on the edge of one's ability and facing fear is slowly dying, and this is true at any level of success (4m3s).

Has Essentialism Evolved in the Last Decade? (4m29s)

• The concept of essentialism has become a part of the Zeitgeist and Americana, with influential people such as Steve Harvey and Maria Shriver embracing it, and even Kanye West publicly declaring himself an essentialist (5m26s).
• The movement has grown significantly over the past decade, with more people being reached by essentialism each year and sharing stories of how it has changed their lives (6m11s).
• One major change in perspective is the realization that people need a tool set to go with the essentialism mindset, leading to the creation of the Essentialism Planner (6m32s).
• The planner is designed to help people optimize their daily planning and journaling, and is based on the author's own daily practice of written planning and journaling over the past 10 years (7m13s).
• Another significant shift is the transition from the Information Age to the Influencer Age, characterized by a lead shift from distraction to disorientation (8m23s).
• In this new age, the ability to eliminate and synthesize noise has become a primary skill, allowing individuals to connect the dots and create something meaningful (9m5s).
• The author believes that essentialism is more relevant now than ever, with people needing to develop skills to navigate the challenges of the Influencer Age (9m26s).

Essentialism Has Become More Relevant (9m31s)

• The concept of essentialism has become more relevant over time, much like a weather reporter predicting a trend that eventually unfolds, and it's not just about catching a trend early, but also about navigating the increasing volume of information and distractions that come with it (9m48s).
• The sheer volume of information available has led to a shift from scavenging for information to discerning between different options, requiring a fundamentally different skill set (11m5s).
• The essentialist mindset serves as a prophylactic against the overwhelming amount of information and stimuli, helping individuals to be more discerning and make decisions about what is relevant and what is not (11m16s).
• The COVID-19 pandemic has opened up new options and possibilities, but also increased the need for individuals to make decisions and navigate the noise and distractions that come with it (11m37s).
• The current era is characterized as a truly limitless era, but the obstacle to fully embracing this era is the noise and distractions that come with it (11m54s).
• The term "noise" comes from the Latin word "nausea," and the feeling of being overwhelmed by information can be likened to seasickness, making it difficult for individuals to navigate and make decisions (12m22s).
• Social media has become a major contributor to the noise and distractions, with individuals absorbing large amounts of information and influences that can lead to a reactive lifestyle rather than a proactive one (12m32s).
• The constant exposure to information and stimuli can lead to a state of disorientation, making it difficult for individuals to discern what is up and what is down, and requiring a new set of skills to navigate this environment (12m59s).

Why is Being Reactive Bad? (13m14s)

• The highest priority task is often the least likely to happen, which is referred to as a law, possibly a natural law or a human bias that is challenging to overcome (13m38s).
• Living reactively is suboptimal as it puts individuals at the mercy of whatever comes into their consciousness, whether it's a notification, fear, or memory, and the most salient thing often takes priority (14m50s).
• The Eisenhower Matrix categorizes tasks as urgent versus important, but the urgent will always take precedence over the important if individuals are not careful (15m7s).
• People have a limited amount of time to do the important things in their life, and they should focus on the most critical tasks before it's too late (15m37s).
• The 90% Rule suggests focusing only on tasks that are 90% or above in importance, and if it's not a clear yes, it becomes a clear no (15m55s).
• Over time, it has been observed that people only have enough time to do tasks that are 90% and above in importance, making it essential to be more selective (16m25s).
• Doing tasks that are just good or completely trivial means making a tradeoff, and individuals would probably not make those choices if they were presented with alternatives (16m43s).
• People often don't see the signal in the noise and everything seems equally important, but the reality is that not all tasks are equally important (17m9s).
• In human systems, a very few things are infinitely important, and these things are often hidden among less important tasks and data, requiring effort to identify (17m18s).
• Traditional productivity and focus strategies often emphasize doing more and being more efficient, but a more effective approach is to focus on finding the most important things (17m50s).
• This approach is likened to discovering that one's life's work is not in a "coal mine" but in a "diamond mine," requiring a shift in behavior and a focus on finding the most valuable things (18m1s).
• To find the most important things, one must pause, think, reflect, explore, and push aside non-essential tasks (18m16s).
• Human systems can be thought of as an onion, with noise and trivia at the edge, more important things in the middle, and the most vulnerable and disproportionately important things at the center (18m41s).
• This phenomenon exists at every level of human systems, from personal life to relationships, teams, organizations, and countries (19m15s).
• Discovering and understanding this phenomenon can change one's life completely and irrevocably (19m28s).

How to Better Work Out Your Priorities (19m35s)

• In today's age, everything feels important, and the most important tasks are often the least urgent, making it challenging to prioritize tasks (19m44s).
• To work out priorities, a framework is needed, and one such framework can be learned and applied in just six minutes every day (20m7s).
• This framework involves a process called instinctive elaboration, where asking oneself a question triggers an involuntary mental process that cannot be ignored (22m25s).
• The process starts with a simple prompt, such as "what's going on in your head?" or "what is happening?", which leads to free writing and helps to clear mental noise (21m59s).
• The free writing process helps to move from confusion to clarity to creation, allowing individuals to go from a state of panic to having a plan and feeling at peace (21m23s).
• The six-minute process involves writing down thoughts and questions without judgment, and it can be done with the intention of throwing the writing away, making it a safe space for expression (23m2s).
• The prompt "what so what now" can be used to guide the writing process and help individuals focus on what needs to be done (22m47s).
• To navigate through the noise and distractions in life, it's essential to focus on what matters most by connecting the dots and understanding what the noise means, rather than just reacting to it (23m8s).
• A helpful structure for prioritizing tasks is the "1-2-3 method," which involves identifying the highest priority item for the day (the "one"), two urgent and essential tasks (the "two"), and three maintenance items (the "three") that will help future self be thankful (23m31s).
• This structure becomes the "done for the day list," which doesn't mean that no other tasks will be done, but rather that the most important tasks will be accomplished, helping to orient oneself through the noise (23m54s).
• There are two kinds of people in the world: those who are lost and those who know they are lost, and being in the second category is helpful because it allows for recognition of the need to stop, reflect, and reorient (24m25s).
• A daily process of reflection and reorientation is necessary in a disorienting world, and this process can be a helpful tool for living essentialism (25m16s).
• A conversation with Nick Pollard highlighted the importance of avoiding non-essential tasks, using the analogy of a missile that avoids non-targets to hit its intended target (25m27s).
• The essentialist mindset is centered around elimination and not doing, with success in life being at least 90% about avoiding catastrophe rather than expediting success (25m52s).
• Avoiding catastrophes is crucial because they can cause significant setbacks and even "game over" situations, making it essential to prioritize tasks and focus on what truly matters (26m2s).

Why Saying No is So Hard (26m30s)

• Socrates described himself as the wisest man in the world, attributing his wisdom to a Damon, or a conscience-like entity that guides him by telling him what not to do, rather than what to do (27m12s).
• This concept is relevant to the idea of saying no to non-essential things, as it highlights the importance of knowing what not to do in order to focus on what is truly important (27m39s).
• In a personal anecdote, the speaker recounts being stuck in an airport during a storm and being tempted to try and reach a nearby hotel, but ultimately deciding against it due to a strong inner voice telling him not to take the risk (28m43s).
• The speaker suggests that instead of asking what the most essential thing in life is, it can be helpful to ask what one does not want, as the answer to this question can provide clarity on what is truly desired (29m22s).
• This approach can be less overwhelming than trying to determine the most essential thing, and can provide a clearer sense of direction and purpose (29m28s).
• The speaker's friend George posed a question about how to make a miserable person happy, but found that people had more advice on how to make a happy person miserable, highlighting the importance of focusing on what not to do in order to achieve happiness (29m49s).
• Inversion is a useful tool for avoiding pitfalls by identifying things that will lead to misery, allowing individuals to focus on what matters most (29m53s).
• As people progress on their personal journey, experience becomes a valuable asset in identifying what works best for them, making the process less effortful and more intuitive (30m23s).
• Initially, individuals may rely on systems, daily lists, and routines to impose order on a chaotic world, but with experience, they can learn to trust their instincts and make decisions more freely (30m35s).
• The longer one trusts their instincts, the more accurate they become, leading to better outcomes and a competitive advantage that compounds with experience (31m10s).
• This approach is not replicable or speed-hackable, making it a unique and valuable asset that allows individuals to navigate the world in a more emergent and bottom-up way (32m33s).
• Managing the transition from a rigid and structured approach to a more free-flowing one can be difficult, but it allows individuals to tap into their experience and make decisions more intuitively (32m51s).
• The idea is that, like a musician who has played many shows, individuals can develop a sense of what works best for them through experience, rather than relying on prescribed systems or routines (32m18s).
• This approach is not about being imprecise or wishful, but rather about trusting one's instincts and experience to make decisions that lead to better outcomes (31m17s).
• The central purpose is to maximize the growth of people, which involves using their agency to make choices, including mistakes, to gain experience and become wiser and better (33m38s).
• As a parent, it's essential to allow children to make mistakes as soon as possible, as it's a high rapid learning process, and there should be no shame in making mistakes (34m0s).
• Parents should occasionally say no to their children to guide them, but not too often, to allow for optimal growth and learning (34m23s).
• The Damon approach involves paying attention to intuition and avoiding catastrophic things, and it's essential to listen to warnings and not ignore them (34m41s).
• Catastrophic failure isn't failure, but rather an opportunity to keep learning and avoid similar situations in the future (34m58s).
• Paying attention to intuition and listening to warnings can help people avoid big mistakes and live optimally (35m4s).
• In life stories and narratives, people often have a moment of warning before making a big mistake, and it's essential to let those warnings guide decision-making (35m22s).
• Optimal living involves playing openly within the boundaries of intuition and warnings, allowing for growth and learning (35m45s).

Having a Healthy Balance Between Easy & Hard (35m51s)

• There's a mindset that believes hard work and difficulty are necessary for success, and that embracing the hard is essential, but this mindset can also lead to distrusting the easy and taking pride in being able to do things that others can't (36m32s).
• This mindset can be problematic for insecure overachievers who always push themselves too far, believing that if it's not hard, they're doing something wrong, and can lead to burnout (37m44s).
• The concept of hard and easy is like two opposing truths, and wisdom lies in finding a balance between the two, rather than going too far in one direction (37m21s).
• The book "Effortless" was written as an antidote to the mindset that burnout is necessary for success, and provides a guide to healthy productivity for insecure overachievers (38m8s).
• A case study from the 1850s about two teams, a Norwegian and a British team, attempting to reach the South Pole, illustrates the difference between a mindset that believes in maximum effort and one that takes a more balanced approach (38m45s).
• The British team's leader believed that maximum effort equals maximum reward, and pushed his team to travel 30-50 miles on the first day, while the Norwegian team took a more measured approach (39m13s).
• The Norwegian team's approach ultimately proved to be more successful, and this case study highlights the importance of finding a balance between hard work and ease (39m11s).
• A British team and a Norwegian team embarked on an expedition to the South Pole, with the British team adopting a "boom and bust" approach to execution, pushing themselves to the limit every day, while the Norwegian team took a more measured approach, aiming for 15 miles a day, regardless of the weather conditions (39m41s).
• The British team's approach led to physical and psychological exhaustion, causing them to stop and set up camp, while the Norwegian team's approach allowed them to maintain a steady pace and make progress even in bad weather (39m45s).
• The Norwegian team's leader had learned from the indigenous people of Antarctica that making maximum progress in harsh conditions is about "sweat management," or conserving energy to avoid burnout (40m31s).
• When the Norwegian team encountered perfect weather conditions near the South Pole, they chose not to break their rule and push to the finish, instead maintaining their steady pace and reaching the South Pole in three days (41m33s).
• The Norwegian team's approach allowed them to beat the British team by more than 20 days and return home safely, while the British team's approach led to burnout and ultimately, the death of all team members on the journey home (42m32s).
• The Norwegian team's progress was described by a biographer as being made "without particular effort," a phrase that highlights the effectiveness of their approach to execution (43m9s).
• The story of the two teams serves as an example of the importance of pacing oneself and avoiding the "boom and bust" approach to execution, which can lead to burnout and decreased productivity (42m21s).
• The idea that one must always go beyond their maximum effort to achieve success and advancement is being challenged, as this approach can ultimately lead to burnout and decreased performance over time (43m43s).
• Training for an Iron Man competition involves tracking one's actual power over time, and it's essential to recognize one's limitations and not exceed their average power output during the race to avoid slowing down later (44m16s).
• The concept of the "tank" refers to one's energy reserves, and drawing from it too much can lead to decreased performance and slower times in the long run (44m52s).
• The "85% rule" suggests that operating at 85% of one's maximum capacity can allow for more sustainable and longer-lasting performance, enabling individuals to go further and faster over time (45m0s).

Knowing When & How to Slow Down (45m10s)

• Many people believe that working harder will solve most problems, but this approach can lead to misery and burnout, causing problems in relationships and overall well-being (45m10s).
• The constant pursuit of success and achievement can result in a person losing the ability to switch off and relax, leading to burnout (45m53s).
• The idea of taking time off and disconnecting from work and technology can be beneficial for recharging and gaining a new perspective (46m0s).
• For insecure overachievers, the advice to work harder may be counterproductive, and instead, they may need to learn to slow down and appreciate their accomplishments (46m31s).
• Building the capacity to turn off and relax is just as important as building the capacity to work hard and be productive (46m55s).
• Learning to not work hard can be a challenging process, especially for those who have tied their self-worth to their achievements (47m15s).
• Taking time off should be done for the sake of enjoyment and relaxation, not just as a means to come back to work harder and more productive (47m55s).
• The challenges of self-growth and self-development can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself and the importance of finding balance and joy in life (48m16s).
• Human systems, including individuals and relationships, are complex and can be thought of as an onion with multiple layers, with the most vulnerable and impactful aspects at the center (48m27s).
• Operating only at the outer edges of the onion can lead to dealing with relatively safe and trivial matters, rather than addressing the more significant and meaningful issues at the center (49m14s).
• Moving closer to the center of the onion can raise questions about one's purpose and values, and can lead to a greater understanding of oneself and one's place in the world (49m27s).
• At the center of the onion is a "red button" that, when pressed, can lead to significant changes and resets in one's life, but can also be risky if not approached thoughtfully (50m0s).
• The center of the onion is also where one's meaning frames are located, which are the ways in which we interpret and make sense of the world around us (50m40s).
• Meaning frames are not fixed and can be influenced by our experiences and interactions with others, and can shape our decisions and behaviors in profound ways (51m18s).
• A "Frozen meaning frame" occurs when a meaning frame based in truth becomes locked with something that is not true, leading to subconscious patterns of thought and behavior that can be difficult to change (51m25s).
• Frozen meaning frames can operate beneath our conscious awareness, shaping our decisions and behaviors in ways that we may not even realize, and can be challenging to overcome without a deeper understanding of ourselves and our motivations (51m54s).
• To understand what truly matters, it's essential to look beyond the surface level and get to the center of the issue, as operating at the surface can lead to a lack of motivation and meaning, even when things appear fine on the surface (52m20s).
• A PhD student, who was a great husband, father, and had a strong faith, struggled to find motivation in his career despite being at a top university, and through a rapid listening process, it was discovered that his lack of motivation stemmed from a deep-seated issue related to the death of his sister when he was young (52m26s).
• The student's young mind had created a set of truths to make sense of the world, which was that the only things that matter in life are family and faith, but this set of truths was mapped with something not true, causing him to struggle in his career (53m15s).
• Once the student worked through this issue, he was able to operate at a completely different level, and this process of listening and untangling deep-seated issues has been a common theme in many one-on-one and group sessions (53m44s).
• The process of getting to the center of the issue can be messy and vulnerable, but it's essential to identify and unlock the meaning frames and truths matched with untruths that are holding you back (54m25s).
• Thinking of this process as an onion system, where you peel back the layers to get to the center, can help you navigate the vulnerability and uncertainty of the journey (54m46s).
• The goal of this process is to identify and release the deep-seated issues that are holding you back, allowing you to live and operate in a new way (55m8s).

Biggest Challenges of Maintaining Essentialism (55m11s)

• The challenges of remaining an essentialist as one's career progresses include dealing with the lack of guidance on what to do once success is achieved, as most advice focuses on becoming successful rather than maintaining success (55m57s).
• There is a lack of understanding and compassion for people who have achieved success, with many assuming they will be fine once they reach a certain level, when in reality they face unique challenges (56m57s).
• One of the experiences successful people may encounter is "success vertigo," a feeling of disorientation and uncertainty about their place and direction (57m26s).
• As people climb the ladder of success, they may experience loneliness and disconnection from others, as the number of people at their level decreases and they may not know who to turn to or how to operate (57m55s).
• This loneliness and disorientation can lead to psychological discombobulation, even for those who have been working towards success for years (58m9s).
• The sudden onset of success can be particularly challenging, as seen in the example of Matthew McConaughey, who experienced a drastic change in his life after his big break (58m21s).
• Some people may need to take time out to adjust to their new circumstances and figure out how to navigate their success, as Matthew McConaughey did (58m45s).
• To achieve success, it's essential to build a system that can produce the desired outcome, but there's a point where the system becomes so successful that it's hard to escape and can turn into a "success trap" that's harder to escape than a "failure trap" (58m53s).
• Success traps can make it difficult to change and may lead to becoming a cog in the system, losing self-awareness and the ability to observe and make changes (59m48s).
• It's crucial to have the self-awareness to push apart from the system, observe it, and decide whether to enter it again or make changes for the next phase of life (1h0m5s).
• The "observer's advantage" allows individuals to build successful complex systems, but also to observe and evaluate them to ensure they align with their true desires (1h0m47s).
• The observer is the real self, separate from thoughts and life circumstances, and can observe and evaluate experiences, including panic attacks, without being affected by them (1h1m27s).
• Discovering the observer within can be a significant discovery at any phase of success, allowing individuals to realize they are not their thoughts or life circumstances (1h1m56s).
• As success grows, it can become its own form of noise, making it harder to observe and evaluate experiences, and it's essential to find ways to quiet the noise and regain the ability to observe (1h2m9s).
• Becoming successful at success requires learning to navigate the challenges and noise that come with it and finding ways to maintain self-awareness and observation (1h2m41s).
• Success can become a catalyst for failure as it takes individuals away from the observer role, making it harder to gain clarity about their life and what's happening, and this challenge is more pronounced at higher levels of success (1h2m52s).
• As individuals progress, they must learn to say no to things they would have previously wanted, and the pressure and implications of their decisions increase, making resilience more crucial (1h3m18s).
• The ability to focus on what matters most is essential, and this requires being able to ignore attractive distractions, a concept referred to as "reverse habituation" (1h4m30s).
• This challenge is likened to the scene in The Matrix where Neo must ignore the woman in the red dress, and the difficulty increases exponentially with the number of distractions (1h4m5s).
• Individuals must be able to say no to many enticing options and still be able to identify and seize opportunities that align with their goals (1h4m47s).
• This process must occur without sympathy from others, who may view the challenges of success as "champagne problems" (1h5m2s).
• Successful individuals will face this problem, and it's essential to develop the skills to navigate it, including the ability to say no and prioritize what matters most (1h5m20s).
• Elon Musk estimates that every minute he spends on Tesla is worth a million dollars, highlighting the importance of prioritizing time and focus (1h5m41s).
• A culture infected with envy can lead to immoral pride, but there's a different kind of pride and ego that looks up to others and acknowledges their success (1h6m2s).
• Many people believe that achieving a certain level of success or winning the lottery will solve their problems and make their lives better, but this is often not the case, as evidenced by the fact that a high percentage of lottery winners experience negative consequences. (1h6m33s)
• The idea that achieving a higher level of success will automatically bring happiness and stability is a misconception, as people who achieve success often find that they need to learn new skills and adapt to new challenges. (1h6m51s)
• The concept of "leveling up" in life is similar to progressing through levels in a computer game, but just because someone is given access to a higher level does not mean they have the skills to succeed at that level. (1h7m30s)
• The process of going from confusion to clarity to creation is not just a daily process, but a continuous cycle that applies to all areas of life, and accepting that everyone faces confusion and chaos every day is an important part of personal growth. (1h8m12s)
• Even highly successful companies like Apple and Google, which may appear to operate smoothly and efficiently, are actually dealing with confusion and chaos behind the scenes, and their executives are constantly adapting to new challenges. (1h8m42s)
• Upgrading oneself to meet the demands of the current level of success is an ongoing process, and it's not what people typically expect, as it requires continuous learning and adaptation. (1h9m23s)

Discerning Which Advice We Should Listen to (1h9m33s)

• The world today is characterized by an abundance of information and access to technology and social media, making it easy to compare oneself to others and experience option anxiety, which can lead to distraction and disorientation (1h9m33s).
• The issue is no longer information overload, but rather opinion overload, with people receiving more opinion inputs than ever before, often from individuals who do not know them well (1h10m31s).
• To address this, it is essential to assume that one could be below average in consuming opinions and still experience an opinion overload problem (1h11m24s).
• One recommended approach is to take a break from social media for a certain period, such as 5 days or a week, to cut out the noise and notice the difference in one's thinking (1h11m42s).
• Another suggestion is to conduct a "spring cleaning" of the people one follows on social media, starting from zero and selecting only those who provide the most relevant insights for one's life (1h12m17s).
• This approach involves evaluating the impact of the voices one has been listening to and determining whether they have helped or added clutter to one's life (1h12m56s).
• Brad Smith, the president of Microsoft, has openly admitted that all technology can be both a tool and a weapon, and has written a book on the topic called "Tools and Weapons" (1h13m20s).
• Technology has made it easier to connect with people who live far away, but at the cost of relationships with those closest to us, a concept that can be turned into an algorithm for life to prioritize what truly matters (1h13m58s).
• Over the last 10 years, deep friendships have declined across all categories, with the biggest drop-off being in men aged 30 and above, coinciding with the uncontrolled growth of technology, gaming, and social media (1h14m45s).
• This decline in deep friendships can be attributed to the trade-off between technology use and face-to-face communication, with technology companies profiting from this trade-off (1h14m16s).
• Implementing a "set time" for technology use can improve the quality of life, as experienced by the individual who saw an immediate improvement in their life after setting boundaries with technology (1h15m22s).
• The device in our pockets is not just a phone, but rather a "3 trillion dollar military grade disorientation machine" that makes certain people a lot of money at the cost of human connection, as described by Jordan Peterson's influence on the individual's thinking (1h16m6s).
• This "disorientation machine" prioritizes profits over human relationships, highlighting the need to be aware of the trade-offs made when using technology (1h16m19s).

Where to Find Greg (1h16m35s)

• Greg McKeown has a 10-year anniversary edition of his book "Essentialism" that has been updated, as well as an "Essentialism Planner" available for people to check out (1h16m48s).
• Additional tools that couldn't fit into the planner can be found for free at essentialism.com, offering high-quality resources (1h16m56s).
• A 30-day course called "Less But Better" is available at GregMcKeown.com, which takes the best of "Essentialism" and "Effortless" and condenses it into 10 classes (1h17m11s).
• The "Less But Better" course is a good starting point for those looking to apply Greg McKeown's principles, especially for the new year (1h17m31s).
• Greg McKeown's first episode with the host is recommended listening, which can be found by searching "Greg McKeown" and "Modern Wisdom" (1h17m44s).
• The host is a fan of using planners and has Greg McKeown's new planner, which he plans to use for the first 90 days of the next year (1h17m59s).