How To Hack Your Psychology And Become More Resilient - Dr Orion Taraban

The Importance of Setting End Times (00:00:00)

• Setting end dates for new habits, goals, or routines ensures sufficient effort and duration to determine their effectiveness.
• Things generally take longer than expected, often two to three times longer.
• Committing to a process for a specific time, such as three years, allows for a fair assessment of its success, regardless of immediate rewards.
• Setting a minimum time frame helps accumulate benefits and realize if something is not suitable.
• Focused periods of sobriety, with a defined end date, can improve consistency and eliminate hangovers.
• Visualizing progress through a timeline bar, like on YouTube, enhances motivation.
• Truncating sobriety goals to one day at a time can make the prospect less daunting and aid in recovery.

Creating a Negative Outcome to Motivate You (00:04:04)

• To overcome resistance and build a habit, trick yourself into starting by promising to just review your previous work, then gradually get absorbed in editing and adding more content.
• Create "escape protocols" to motivate yourself, such as locking yourself in a room with only the necessary tools to complete a task.
• Use negative consequences to drive positive actions, such as nominating an amount of money that you'll have to pay to an organization you disagree with if you don't complete a desired behavior.
• Some people find pleasure in being controlled or restricted in certain ways, as seen in the example of a financial dominatrix who controlled her client's finances and gave him small allowances.
• People often seek out experiences that are outside of their control or comfort zone in order to feel something.
• A life without limits or boundaries can lead to a lack of value or meaning, as there is nothing to compare it to.

Mbappe’s Pursuit of the Simple Life (00:12:33)

• Kylian Mbappe, a successful footballer, expressed a desire for the simple life of an ordinary person, highlighting the "Titanic problem" of feeling dissatisfied despite privilege.
• The Chinese philosopher Chongu illustrates that contentment can be found in simple pleasures rather than positions of power or wealth.
• Ben Francis, the CEO of Gymshark, exemplifies the concept of "champagne problems" associated with excessive wealth and fame.
• General visibility has a nonlinear relationship with power, with the least and most powerful individuals often being the least visible.
• The Forbes top 100 richest people list may not represent the true extent of wealth and power, as there may be hidden individuals or entities with greater influence.
• It is more secure to be the "Man Behind the King," who works through others while remaining hidden, rather than being the visible leader.
• People who hold positions of power behind the scenes, such as advisors or long-serving government officials, may have more lasting influence than those in prominent positions.

How to Find What You Actually Want (00:19:33)

• People often don't know themselves well and mistake cultural expectations for their authentic desires.
• External achievements and cultural ideals of happiness can lead to disappointment when they fail to provide lasting satisfaction.
• Accurate self-knowledge is crucial for making decisions that align with one's true self.
• Self-knowledge is a lifelong process that involves shedding societal influences and cultural conditioning.

The Power of Being Intentional (00:23:01)

• Intentionalism is a philosophy of being deliberate and purposeful in one's actions and desires.
• Most people's default desires are misaligned with their true selves and values.
• People often identify with their default desires and see them as part of their identity, making it difficult to recognize and change them.
• One way to identify misaligned desires is to pay attention to feelings of unhappiness, unfulfillment, or a sense that something is missing.

Achieving Success in the Wrong Thing (00:25:31)

• Hard work is essential for achieving worthwhile goals, but it may not always bring immediate happiness or satisfaction.
• It's important to assess whether your current path aligns with your true desires and long-term goals, even if it involves hard work and sacrifice.
• Some people may achieve success but feel unfulfilled because it's not aligned with their passions.
• Winners often quit other things to focus intensely on achieving mastery in a chosen field.
• Once a certain level of stability and success is achieved, it becomes possible to take bigger risks and explore new directions without compromising essential needs.
• Personal fulfillment and passion should be prioritized over immediate success, especially for young individuals.

Why You Shouldn’t Idolise Your Heroes (00:30:51)

• Jason Poan's quote: Accept that all heroes are flawed individuals who excel in one area at the expense of others.
• Overpaying is the cost of winning: Achieving desired outcomes often requires significant sacrifices, including pleasure, well-being, social life, and relationships.
• Life is like an auction house: Competition for limited resources necessitates overpaying to secure desired outcomes.
• The disappointment of getting what you want: Winning often comes with the realization that the sacrifices made may not have been worth the outcome.
• The goal as a pretext for transformation: The pursuit of goals serves as an excuse for personal growth and improvement, rather than the end goal itself.
• Striving towards a goal reveals who you truly are.
• Self-knowledge comes from taking action and examining your behavior in retrospect.
• Monk mode is limited as a personal development strategy because it lacks real-world challenges.
• Running a business is a personal growth opportunity as it exposes inefficiencies, self-doubt, and fears.
• External challenges provide an objective measure of progress and self-discovery.
• The Stoics categorized events as either within or outside our control.
• Most things are outside our control, and the proper attitude towards them is indifference.
• Choosing to accept what happens gives you psychological control and allows for growth.
• Embracing challenges can lead to personal transformation and resilience.

Taking Back Control of Your Life (00:38:23)

• A study involving two hamsters demonstrated the difference between internal and external locus of control.
• The hamster with internal locus of control had lower stress levels compared to the hamster with external locus of control.
• Humans are often like the second hamster, with limited control due to the vastness of the universe and forces beyond our control.
• Despite limitations, we can choose how we respond to external forces.
• Victor Frankle emphasized the opportunity for dignity and self-transcendence even in the most adverse circumstances.

Should People Spend Their 20s Grinding? (00:40:24)

• Dr. Orion Taraban emphasizes the importance of setting goals and working hard to achieve them, even if it means making sacrifices in the present.
• He believes that everyone has their own unique path and that it's important to live authentically, even if it means taking risks and making mistakes.
• He suggests that visualization and manifestation can be powerful tools in achieving one's dreams, but it may take seven to ten years to make them a reality.
• He encourages people to focus on the positive and avoid getting caught up in the negativity of the internet.
• Dr. Taraban criticizes those who spread negative and defeatist perspectives, suggesting that they may be motivated by a desire to reduce their own cognitive dissonance by denying the existence of positive and hopeful perspectives.

Ascending Out of Inceldom (00:48:16)

• The speaker avoids consuming excessive internet content to maintain originality and became aware of the black pill incel movement after noticing hopelessness in comments on his channel.
• William Costello introduced the speaker to the concept of "ascending," which refers to rising out of the incel sphere and potentially finding a romantic partner.
• Hope is crucial in the incel community but can be painful as it creates an ideal to compare oneself to.
• The speaker criticizes the incel movement for its fatalistic beliefs and argues that it's impossible to disprove their philosophy since anyone who doesn't adhere to it is dismissed as not a true member.
• Narcissism comes in different forms, including grandiose narcissism (exaggerated self-importance) and inverted narcissism (a belief in unique brokenness).
• Inverted narcissism is linked to depression and involves a negative view of oneself as uniquely damaged and beyond help.
• Rebuilding oneself authentically after a narcissistic collapse is challenging but necessary for personal growth.
• Some people prefer to believe they have below-average intelligence rather than average intelligence, as it provides a sense of negative specialness.
• Emotional neglect or household troubles during adolescence can lead to acting out behaviors, and many people remain emotionally adolescent regardless of their chronological age.

Effectiveness & Challenges of Therapy for Men (01:00:01)

• Gender matches between clients and practitioners can impact therapy effectiveness, with men often preferring male therapists for certain topics and women preferring female therapists for personal issues.
• Most talk therapy is geared towards women, with a majority of mental health professionals and clients being female.
• Men and women approach problems differently, with men being more problem-solution oriented and women finding relief through talking and expressing emotions.
• Therapy can stir up difficult emotions and thoughts that require time to integrate into one's personality structure.
• Self-improvement practices, such as education and therapy, should be means to an end, not ends in themselves.
• The goal of self-improvement should be clear and specific to provide a benchmark for progress and prevent endless pursuit.
• Procrastination and prioritizing urgent tasks can hinder personal growth and development.
• Action can only occur in the present moment, so it is important to take action now rather than waiting for an ideal time.
• Expanding the conception of temporal reality can help dilate and expand the present moment.

Where to Find Orion (01:10:44)

• Orion Taraban's YouTube channel: "psyx"
• Website: orabanside.com
• Side business: Stellar GRE prep program (Stellg.com)
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