Charlemagne tha God: A Woman Molested Me As A Kid! I Cheated On My Soulmate!

Intro (00:00:00)

• Charlamagne reflects on his childhood and the impact of his father's lifestyle on him.
• He mentions his struggles with drug dealing, his father's infidelity, and his own infidelity.
• Charlamagne discusses his experience with suicidal thoughts and his journey to success in the media industry.
• He announces a subscriber raffle to celebrate reaching 6 million subscribers on YouTube.

Get Honest Or Die Trying (00:02:17)

• Charlamagne explains the title of his book, "Get Honest or Die Trying," as a play on 50 Cent's "Get Rich or Die Tryin'."
• He emphasizes the importance of honesty and authenticity, both with oneself and with others.
• Charlamagne highlights the role of social media in contributing to dishonesty and inauthenticity.
• He encourages individuals to confront their insecurities and fears and to be honest with themselves and others.

What Made Charlamagne? (00:04:09)

• Charlemagne tha God, a prominent figure in the US, shares his personal experiences and struggles in a candid interview.
• He emphasizes the importance of honesty and self-awareness, especially for black men, who often face challenges in expressing their emotions and mental health concerns.
• Charlemagne's upbringing in Moncks Corner, South Carolina, was marked by a strict and emotionally distant father, whose own mental health struggles and substance abuse affected their relationship.
• His father's departure from the family home due to an extramarital affair occurred when Charlemagne was around 19 or 20 years old.

Charlamagne's Father's Impact On His Relationships (00:08:56)

• Charlamagne believes our relationships are modeled after the relationships we see with our parents.
• Charlamagne's parents had a loud household and he thought his father was in prison.
• He didn't have a real relationship until he was 30 and has had to go to therapy with his partner to overcome childhood trauma.
• Charlamagne's father was unfaithful to his mother, which impacted his perspective on relationships.
• He always wanted a nuclear family like the ones he saw on TV.
• When he found out his father was cheating, his father told him "you only got one woman huh" which made him feel like he was doing something wrong.
• Charlamagne spent a large part of his life trying to prove to his father that he was a player.
• His father later admitted that leaving his mother was one of the worst mistakes he ever made.
• Charlamagne realized that just because someone is older doesn't mean they are always right.

Charlamagne's Experience of Sexual Abuse (00:12:11)

• Charlamagne reveals that his cousin's ex-wife molested him when he was eight years old.
• Initially, he joked about the experience but later realized the psychological impact it had on him.
• He reflects on how the molestation influenced his need to please others and maintain boundaries.

Encounter with the Abuser (00:12:11)

• Charlamagne encountered his abuser at a house party, where she complimented him.
• Despite seeing her around, he has not confronted her or taken any action against her.

Impact of the Abuse on Charlamagne (00:12:11)

• The abuse led Charlamagne to develop a people-pleasing behavior to avoid being called ugly by his abuser.
• Through therapy, he discovered how the trauma shaped his need to please others and set boundaries.

Healing and Setting Boundaries (00:12:11)

• Charlamagne emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and removing toxic individuals from one's life.
• He highlights the need to prioritize personal comfort over pleasing others to maintain healthy relationships.

Charlamagne's Troubled Youth (00:16:28)

• Charlemagne tha God faced bullying from his older cousins due to his academic success and association with white classmates, leading to disciplinary issues and eventual expulsion from Berkeley High School.
• Despite positive influences from his English teacher mother and Baptist grandmother, Charlemagne engaged in disruptive behavior and made poor choices, including selling drugs for security and protection against bullying.
• Charlemagne reflects on his father's dishonesty about his own life, which prevented him from seeing obstacles and making better choices, particularly in drug dealing.
• He acknowledges that continuing down this path without intervention could have resulted in negative consequences like imprisonment or death.
• Charlemagne expresses gratitude for eventually realizing his mistakes and mentions conversations with Buster Rhymes and Ashley Walters about their fathers.

Role Models For Men (00:22:16)

• The absence of positive male role models negatively impacts young black men, leading to mental health issues and crime.
• Actions are more effective than words when teaching about fidelity and being a good man.
• The current generation has the opportunity to address issues that previous generations didn't.
• There is confusion about what it means to be a man in modern society due to conflicting messages.
• Men's mental health is a significant concern, with suicide being the leading cause of death for men between the ages of 18 and 45 in the UK.
• When choosing a role model, it is important to consider the kind of person you want to be, especially when raising children.
• Role models provide a model of behavior to follow, but it is important to remember that they are not perfect and should not be blindly followed.
• We should focus on modeling ourselves after someone's personality, morals, values, and beliefs, rather than their material possessions.
• Ultimately, the only person we can truly know is ourselves.

The Man Charlamagne Wants To Be (00:27:58)

• Wants to be a good man who is faithful to his words and actions.
• Believes in being present and raising his children with love despite his anxiety and parental paranoia.
• Chooses to be faithful and optimistic in life, as the alternative is worry and doubt, which are not conducive to raising children.
• Understands that he cannot control everything and must let his children live their own lives, even though he fears for their safety.

The Route Of Charlamagne's Anxiety (00:30:41)

• Charlemagne was molested at the age of 8.
• He was bullied in his early years.
• He wanted his father to raise him out of love and not fear.
• His father used to discipline him for things he never taught him, leading to insecurity and anxiety.
• He believes his bouts of depression may be due to a chemical imbalance.
• He uses prayer, daily affirmations, and self-talk to cope with his anxiety and depression.
• Charlemagne's childhood affirmation was: "I love Jehovah God and his son Jesus Christ" (repeated 3 times), followed by "[ __ ] Satan" (repeated 3 times).

Reaching Personal Rock Bottom (00:33:50)

• Charlemagne reached a personal low point in his early 20s.
• He saw people around him going to jail, dying, and wasting their lives.
• He realized that his actions today would directly impact his future.
• He started working various odd jobs, including telemarketing, retail, and fast food.
• He worked with his now-wife at a clothing store in the mall.
• Charlemagne found an internship at a radio station in 1998.
• Being in the radio environment made him realize that this was what he wanted to do with his future.
• He started working on-air in 1999 and saw the potential for his future in radio.

Working In The Radio (00:36:53)

• Charlemagne thought rapping would be his way out of poverty.
• He got a tattoo of Wolverine holding a microphone at a young age, symbolizing his love for Wolverine's healing powers and his belief that the microphone would change his life through rap.

Getting Fired 4 Times (00:38:30)

• Charlemagne tha God was fired from four different radio stations.
• He was fired from Hot 98.9 in Charleston.
• He left Z93, the big heritage station in Charleston, to work for an up-and-coming station called High 98.9 for a full-time radio gig.
• He made $199,000 a year at High 98.9.
• His father was proud of him for his success.
• Charlemagne tha God and his father have never had in-depth conversations about his life.
• His mother is very supportive and proud of him.
• She advised him to be happy that he is able to make a living.

Panic Attacks & Depression (00:42:21)

• Charlemagne tha God has experienced anxiety and panic attacks since childhood, with the first major one occurring in first grade.
• Despite achieving success and financial stability as a co-host of The Breakfast Club, he continued to struggle with panic attacks, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
• He sought therapy around 2015 or 2016 to address his mental health issues.
• The loss of his friend Jazz Waters to suicide during the COVID-19 pandemic reinforced the importance of addressing mental health.
• Charlemagne tha God had a profound experience where he heard the voice of his deceased wife asking him if he was still alive.
• He is haunted by thoughts of suicide due to the influence of people close to him who have committed suicide and his own past thoughts of self-harm.
• He finds solace and reasons to continue living when he reflects on the numerous reasons he has to be alive.

Dealing With Grief And Suicide (00:48:17)

• Charlemagne tha God reflects on the complex emotions he experienced after a friend's suicide and emphasizes the importance of not blaming oneself.
• Despite his external success, Charlemagne struggled with internal issues such as panic attacks, anxiety, and depression, which he attributes to his past experiences and survival mode.
• He acknowledges his ruthless behavior and projects his pain onto others, expressing resentment towards those who tried to fire him in the past and feeling vindicated by his success.
• In 2015, Charlemagne realized he was living a destructive lifestyle and chose to get back on the righteous path, avoiding drugs, alcohol, women, and infidelity.
• He emphasizes that people often lie to themselves about the consequences of their actions and that living a certain lifestyle will lead to a predictable fate, with no one immune to the consequences of their choices.
• Charlemagne expresses sympathy for those who have lost their families due to infidelity and stresses the importance of family.

Charlamagne's Infidelity (00:56:13)

• Charlamagne cheated on his wife, who he considers his soulmate.
• They have been together for 26 years since they were kids.
• His wife has been a constant in his life and has always inspired him to be the best version of himself.
• He feels that he nearly lost his wife and family due to his infidelity and that no amount of professional success would be worth losing them.

Growing With Therapy (00:58:34)

• Charlamagne started going to therapy once a week in 2016.
• He was inspired to seek therapy after seeing the benefits it had for others, including celebrities like Neil Brennan, Pete Davidson, and Debbie Brown.
• He believes that there is a significant disparity in mental health care between white people and black people, with black Americans being less likely to seek help.

What's Help You To Heal? (01:00:32)

• Charlemagne mentions various healing practices and tools he has used to help him heal, including:
  • Alternative healing
  • Breathwork
  • Meditation
  • Breathing exercises
  • Reiki
  • Crystals
  • Plant-based medicine
  • Iboga Journey (spiritual retreat in the US)
• He emphasizes the importance of being authentic and honest with oneself and others.
• The Iboga Journey helped him realize the need to stop lying to himself and others.
• He aims to always show up as his authentic self, regardless of his circumstances.
• The journey helped him shed falsehoods and embrace authenticity.

What's The Cost Of Living With The Lies? (01:02:07)

• Living with falsehoods and lies can lead to depression, anxiety, insecurities, and impostor syndrome.
• Social media can cause people to lose themselves, prioritize online relationships over real-life connections, and shape their thoughts and actions based on others' opinions.
• Emotional intelligence is crucial, and truly intelligent people can disconnect from social media's influence and form their own thoughts and opinions.
• People should seek clarity and discernment from within rather than letting external noise, such as social media opinions, dictate their thoughts and feelings.
• This approach can provide a significant competitive advantage in various aspects of life.

Disconnecting From Social Media To Be Original (01:05:44)

• Originality is valuable.
• Many individuals wonder why Charlemagne tha God keeps growing while they don't.
• Charlemagne tha God advises disconnecting from social media to avoid catering to others' opinions and thoughts.
• Watering one's own garden (being original) is essential for growth, while watering someone else's (catering to others) leads to stagnation.
• It is scary to ignore social media and be authentic in a world that rewards conformity.
• Charlemagne tha God gets attacked for his thoughts and opinions because he doesn't follow the mob.
• He believes in objectivity and hearing both sides to get the real truth.
• Charlemagne tha God emphasizes the importance of understanding where others are coming from, even if they have different opinions or feelings.
• He rejects the notion of political parties and believes in finding the truth through understanding different perspectives.

What's Your View On Trump? (01:08:00)

• Charlemagne believes Donald Trump is a threat to democracy.
• He mentions Trump's attempted coup and the numerous criminal charges against him.
• Charlemagne acknowledges that some people who voted for Trump are good people with different reasons for supporting him.
• He emphasizes the importance of understanding individual motivations rather than making generalizations about entire groups.
• Charlemagne also points out that there are things he dislikes about President Biden's policies, but he may still support him based on specific interests, such as protecting democracy or benefiting from student loan debt relief.
• He suggests that asking broad questions about people's political choices may not be fair, as individuals have diverse reasons for supporting different candidates.

Healing And Rebuilding The Relationship With His Father (01:11:50)

• Charlemagne's conversation with his father helped his healing journey.
• He realized his father was just a man doing his best without the tools and resources Charlemagne had.
• If his father had been open about his struggles when Charlemagne was young, he might have taken a different path.
• Charlemagne believes that people who have dealt with similar struggles can be good role models, even if they have flaws.
• He feels that if his father had shared his experiences, Charlemagne would have recognized his own issues earlier and been able to address them.

How Is Charlamagne Doing? (01:14:19)

• Charlamagne is doing great and feels blessed.
• He recently had a fantastic weekend in Atlanta, Georgia, where he organized the second annual Black Effect Podcast Festival.
• The festival featured various podcasts, food trucks, vendors, and merchandise.
• Charlamagne also mentioned the Thrill of Possibility Summit, where 50 HBCU students are flown to Nashville for a weekend of panels and mentorship.
• He emphasizes the importance of service and how he finds fulfillment in providing opportunities for others.
• Charlamagne spoke about his nonprofit, the Mental Wealth Alliance, which aims to provide free therapy to 10,000 black and brown people over the next five years.
• He also mentioned his annual Mental Wealth Expo in New York, a free event that brings together mental health professionals and spiritual leaders.

The Importance Of Living A Life Of Service (01:18:06)

• Charlemagne offers his domain name mentalwealth.com to the host for free.
• He believes that one's true purpose in life comes through service to others, as stated by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer in "The Power of Intention".
• He reflects on his religious upbringing and how social media has shifted cultural focus towards individualism.
• Charlemagne expresses a desire to find service in his life, drawing from his childhood experiences of witnessing acts of service within his community.
• He emphasizes the importance of giving back and shares his experience of establishing a scholarship fund in his mother's name at South Carolina State University.
• Charlemagne expresses his fulfillment in being able to provide opportunities for others and views service as the ultimate purpose of life.

The Dangers Of Materialism (01:22:19)

• Charlemagne shares his perspective on materialism and its negative impact.
• He criticizes the portrayal of success in rap videos, which often promotes excessive spending and a lavish lifestyle.
• Charlemagne emphasizes the importance of financial literacy and investing rather than splurging on luxury items.
• He highlights the inauthenticity of many rap videos, where artists often display rented or borrowed items to create an illusion of wealth.
• Charlemagne reflects on his own experiences, including borrowing a luxury car from his friend, and concludes that such possessions do not bring genuine fulfillment or lasting value.

Last Guest Question (01:24:02)

• Charlemagne tha God discusses his fear of grief and expresses gratitude for the positive impact his openness about his struggles has had on others.
• He criticizes the negative effects of excessive engagement with social media and the internet on mental health.
• Charlemagne emphasizes the importance of protecting mental health and avoiding verbally abusive relationships on social media.
• He recommends the book "Get Honest or Die Lying" for authenticity and self-improvement.
• Charlemagne advocates for meaningful conversations and credits his successful long-term relationship to honest discussions with his partner.
• He praises Andrew Schultz as the best stand-up comedian and recommends his podcast, "The Brilliant Idiots."